I identify as queer in order to rule out frustration. I used to be bisexual and actually dated a man for awhile last year. This brought on the idea that I may be pansexual as I was never sexually attracted to men but found some attraction in their personalities and physical features and somewhat what a man can offer a woman emotionally.
I think I was more comforted by the idea of men on a personal level and really finding out whether they are more than their re-productive organs.
I would still call myself pansexual but the relationship with this man did not end great due to me liking girls more than him.
So really, apart from confusion I would call myself a lesbian to prevent further hurt to a male, or plural.
From this understanding I try not to care too much for labels but I am aware that they can bring a lot of people clarity, pan sexuality especially.
I am intrigued by gender queer and transgender, or maybe I just find moustaches on women attractive. I am attracted to androgyny; particularly in women. The scotch drink or the suit and tie fashion – I dig it. I know I wouldn’t like to be a man; I am content in my womanhood. I suppose it’s rather the idea of playing a male role in a girl/girl relationship; cooking them dinner, taking care of them, comforting them, dominating in the bedroom, buying them flowers. I wouldn’t restrict all of these doings to the male role but I am just going on the traditional concepts and maybe that’s sparked from my interest in the 50’s conventional idea of the husband taking care of the wife. I don’t believe in the wife being constricted to the kitchen, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m simply saying I like the idea of the man taking care of the woman and seeing this played out in a lesbian relationship. Of course they are two different things. I guess I just like suiting up, slicking my hair back and being attracted to feminine women as well as the stereotypical dyke.
I would say the idea of gender transitioning is an interesting story in itself for me. Just like I find world war two and animals intriguing but obviously this is on another level to those things.
I would date a person who is transitioning and I accept it openly. I understand it can be confusing for people to recognise but that is why I learn about it as much as I can and try to make people comprehend it better and am all for supporting it in whatever way I can.
In short conclusion, I support and encourage anyone who may come across my words to pursue your instincts and heart. If it be someone struggling with their identity/sexuality or even curious. Don’t be afraid to be the you that YOU are; free and alive. Don’t be afraid and do what makes you happy. You only live once and there’s no point sitting back in fear watching your life roll on by without you. Be free and be proud! Seek these things out and learn for yourself about them, understand and educate yourself. There’s no harm in being curious and there’s nothing wrong with being unsure and confused. I believe our sexuality, our identities are a journey. One step at a time; this is an adventure and you’re in for the ride of your life.